His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
