I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
