ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
