i just wanna soil my oats bro
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
