apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
