Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
