It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
