Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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