Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
