dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
