my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
