it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
