help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
