What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
