You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
