it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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