Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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