If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
