I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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