So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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