I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
