I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
