the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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