The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
