As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
