the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
