let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
