He kissed a someone with a penis
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
