My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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