why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is wine microwaveable?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
