Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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