I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
