What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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