no, he came in my armpit
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
