yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
