Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
