dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
