fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
