She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
