I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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