So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
