I love black thongs
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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