Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
