CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
