The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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