I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
