...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
