So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i drank out of a bidet.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
