Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
