"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
