He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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