He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
