dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize