We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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