we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
