I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
